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The Onion Introduces: The Book Bjorn

Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information--such as the life stage...

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
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Romney Endorses McCain

Former Republican presidential contender Mitt Romney has endorsed John McCain for their party's nomination. What do you think?

  • "Unfortunately for Romney, the biggest thing McCain is soft on is thank-yous."

    Ambrose Crofford Graphic Designer
  • "It's kind of cute that Mitt Romney thinks that people in America are still paying attention to what he says."

    Antionette Chulew Crossing Guard
  • "There is nothing more admirable than a gracious loser. Ha-ha. Loser. Loser loser loser loser!"

    Paul Irving Systems Analyst

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