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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Romney Has Lunch At White House

In his first meeting with Mitt Romney since winning reelection, President Barack Obama hosted his former political rival for lunch at the White House today to discuss ways to improve the federal government. What do you think?

  • “Doesn’t Obama have more important people to pretend to listen to for political theater?”

    Linda Keagle Rug Mender
  • “This would be the perfect opportunity for them to use any zingers they forgot to blast each other with during the campaign.”

    Myron Eldridge Unemployed
  • “Oh, man, I’d love to be a fly on that wall. But only for the lunch, and then I’d like to be transformed back into a human.”

    Frank Honicky Christmas Tree Farmer
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