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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Romney Has Lunch At White House

In his first meeting with Mitt Romney since winning reelection, President Barack Obama hosted his former political rival for lunch at the White House today to discuss ways to improve the federal government. What do you think?

  • “Doesn’t Obama have more important people to pretend to listen to for political theater?”

    Linda Keagle Rug Mender
  • “This would be the perfect opportunity for them to use any zingers they forgot to blast each other with during the campaign.”

    Myron Eldridge Unemployed
  • “Oh, man, I’d love to be a fly on that wall. But only for the lunch, and then I’d like to be transformed back into a human.”

    Frank Honicky Christmas Tree Farmer
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