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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Romney Wins New Hampshire

Presidential candidate Mitt Romney won New Hampshire’s Republican primary yesterday. What do you think?

  • "Well, keep in mind Mitt’s had years more practice guzzling maple syrup for the delight of local media."

    Misty Ludovico Gear Inspector
  • "It was a big win, don't get me wrong, but it would have been a lot closer if Ron Paul's supporters had emerged from their backwoods, anti-government fundamentalist compounds to vote."

    Bart Harrington Systems Analyst
  • “Not bad for a guy everyone hates.”

    Troy Goss Unemployed

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