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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Ron Paul Video Game In Development

Ron Paul supporter Daniel Williams has launched a Kickstarter campaign to fund a video game called Ron Paul: Road to REVOLution. What do you think?

  • “What better libertarian tribute could there be than forcing players into a world of rules they didn't create to achieve a goal they never chose?”

    Colleen Abrams Gas Inspector
  • “We can’t be getting Dr. Paul addicted to some cool new video game now. He’s going to need to focus on the election if he wants to win this thing.”

    Michael Becker Systems Analyst
  • "It's a tall order during the game to close down the Federal Reserve, repeal Roe v. Wade, and withdraw from the United Nations, but once you do all that it unlocks the racist newsletters."

    Noel Spiegel Night Auditor

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