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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Ross Perot Endorses Romney

Saying the nation “can’t afford” a second term under President Obama, 82-year-old Texas billionaire H. Ross Perot, who unsuccessfully ran for president in 1992 and 1996, endorsed Mitt Romney in a Des Moines Register op-ed Tuesday. What do you think?

  • “It’s always inspiring to see a billionaire with enough courage to stand up for a simple, humble multimillionaire.”

    Rod Graf Importer
  • “But who is Crystal Pepsi endorsing?”

    Bridget Fingleton Pipeline Laborer
  • “Yeah, but did you read that other op-ed below his, about the new stoplights on Jefferson and Main Street!?”

    Andrei Belohovek Unemployed
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