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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Russia Ends Sales Of Weapons To Syria

Sixteen months into a bloody crackdown in Syria that has left an estimated 17,000 dead, Russia has agreed to halt arms shipments to the Assad regime. What do you think?

  • “Ooh, do you think I should stop sending them weapons, too?”

    Ross Pitt Environmental Economist
  • “No amount of revenue is worth having Hillary Clinton mad at you.”

    Caroline Harper Zoologist
  • “That's pretty inconsiderate. What’s the Syrian army supposed to kill people with now?”

    Alphons D’Errico Unemployed

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