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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Russia Launches 8 Gerbils, 15 Lizards, Fish Into Space

Analyzing the effects of long-term space travel, Russia launched a capsule into orbit containing mice, geckos, gerbils, snails, fish, and a variety of microogranisms, which will all be monitored for 30 days before returning to Earth, when they’ll be euthanized. What do you think?

  • “Space will prove hard on these animals, but their greatest challenge will be working as a team out there.”

    Dawn Miano Loom Fixer
  • “Those poor microorganisms.”

    Joel Chang Food And Drug Inspector
  • “This is a bold step toward one day sending 14 cats, 3 wolves, and 12 bats to Mars.”

    Rick Bernstein Pedal Assembler
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