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Russia Tests Largest Conventional Bomb

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

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SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Russia Tests Largest Conventional Bomb

Russia successfully tested the largest airborne non-nuclear bomb, delivering a blast four times more powerful than the U.S.' "Mother of All Bombs."
  • "It's good to know that World War III will have a short period of spectacular conventional destruction as a build-up to nuclear holocaust."

    Darren Warshaw
    Barista
  • "All I have to say is thank God for that Star Wars program."

    Linda Braxton
    Systems Analyst
  • "Well, you know what, Russia? We've got a not-currently-deployed Coast Guard who is keeping an eye on you."

    Cody Friel
    Banquet Waiter

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