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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Russia Tests Largest Conventional Bomb

Russia successfully tested the largest airborne non-nuclear bomb, delivering a blast four times more powerful than the U.S.' "Mother of All Bombs."
  • "It's good to know that World War III will have a short period of spectacular conventional destruction as a build-up to nuclear holocaust."

    Darren Warshaw Barista
  • "All I have to say is thank God for that Star Wars program."

    Linda Braxton Systems Analyst
  • "Well, you know what, Russia? We've got a not-currently-deployed Coast Guard who is keeping an eye on you."

    Cody Friel Banquet Waiter
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