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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Russian Hackers Target Water Supply

A water pump in Illinois was damaged when hackers took control of it earlier this month. What do you think?

  • "I wouldn't get too caught up in theories of deliberate sabotage. Water Pump Systems Control for Windows 95 contains tons of glitches."

    Nathan Castle Patch Finisher
  • "Did they use the water pump's birthday to log in? You'd be surprised how often that works."

    Quinn Stephens Unemployed
  • "Perhaps the tourism board should stop using ‘Illinois: Where Hacking Is Easy’ as its overseas marketing slogan."

    Sam Meyer Safety Deposit Supervisor
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