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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Russian Meteorite Strike Injures Over 1,000

A meteorite fell over the Russian city of Chelyabinsk this morning, creating a fireball and several explosions that caused moderate structural damage, injuring over 1,000 people in an event astronomers say is unrelated to the passage of asteroid 2012 DA14 near Earth today. What do you think?

  • “Don’t you see? The asteroid was just a distraction, and we all fell for it.”

    Beau Elmendorf Systems Analyst
  • “Have you seen those videos? Describe them to me.”

    Vincent Rylander Bead Stringer
  • “Why does all the cool stuff happen to Chelyabinsk?”

    Roxanne Weatherley Law Librarian
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