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Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.

Tokyo Portal Outage Delays Millions Of Japanese Warp Commuters

TOKYO—Saying the outdated system needed to be upgraded or replaced to avoid similar problems going forward, millions of inconvenienced Japanese warp commuters expressed frustration Thursday following a Tokyo portal outage that caused delays of up to eight seconds.
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Russia's Woes?

Russia is currently in the grips of the worst economic and political turmoil it has seen since the breakup of the Soviet Union. What do you think about the woeful state of our former enemy?
  • "As a Siberian potato farmer, it's hard for me to adjust to these hard times after so many years of tremendous prosperity."

    Yvgeny Koptev Potato Farmer
  • "Why don't they do one of those Five Year Plans? Those were pretty successful. Except, I guess, for the famine and genocide."

    Craig Sims Systems Analyst
  • "Things are that bad over there, huh? No wonder all my mail-order brides have been sick or dead on arrival."

    Rob Traschel School Psychologist
  • "It's just so awful what has happened over there. I mean, she was the people's princess."

    Lauren Geist Homemaker
  • "We can help support the Russian economy in all sorts of ways: Request Stolichnaya for our screwdrivers. Buy more nesting dolls. Rent Battleship Potemkin."

    Patti Bauer Photographer
  • "The U.S. should not offer any aid to Russia until Nikolai Volkov publicly apologizes for hitting Sergeant Slaughter over the head with that folding chair."

    Timothy Hughes Auto Mechanic

More from this section

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

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