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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.

Grandma Looking Like Absolute Shit Lately

VERO BEACH, FL—Unable to ignore the 86-year-old’s dramatic physical decline since they last saw her, sources within the Delahunt family reported Monday that their grandmother Shirley is looking like absolute shit lately.
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Sale Of Gas-Fueled Cars To Be Limited By 2050

​The United Nations Conference on Climate Change announced an agreement by five countries to ban the sale of new gas-fueled cars by 2050, a move that would reduce global pollution but could cause economic complications if electric car production is unable to meet rising demand. What do you think?

  • “And they said I was crazy for investing my life savings in gondolas.”

    Scott Pernai Drum Major
  • “Did ExxonMobil okay this?”

    Tommy Wolz Creationist Pediatrician
  • “You can’t ask Americans to stop nursing their sneering contempt for electric cars in two short generations.”

    Gloria Rickert Glove Stitcher

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