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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Sally Ride Dies

Former astronaut Sally Ride, who in 1983 became the first American woman to travel into space, died in her San Diego home yesterday at age 61. What do you think?

  • “It’s a shame. No astronaut should outlive their space program.”

    Bonnie Osgood Watch Assembler
  • “Sally Ride taught me women can do anything and it’s not a big deal at all.”

    Matt Rauchut Dry Cleaner
  • “Well, I still think that female astronaut who drove 20 hours or something with diapers on ought to be ashamed of herself.”

    Aaron Linnell Soils Engineer
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