Samsung Unveils Smartwatch

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City Adds Some Big Concrete Stairs

They’re For Sitting On Or Running Up Or Something

CHICAGO—Noting the structure’s considerable size and prominent location in a busy public park, local residents confirmed Tuesday that the city had installed some big concrete stairs that were probably for sitting on or running up or something like that.
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College Freshman Decides To Be Lanyard-Wearing Kind

ANN ARBOR, MI—Emphasizing that this was not a choice he had made lightly, University of Michigan student Kevin Peterson told reporters Thursday that he had officially decided to become one of the lanyard-wearing kind of freshmen.


Samsung Unveils Smartwatch

Samsung debuted its much-anticipated Galaxy Gear smartwatch yesterday, which allows the wearer to make calls or read texts and emails from their wrist and use any of 70 apps, though the device has to be synced with a nearby Galaxy Note tablet to operate. What do you think?

  • “Finally, I can call from my wrist instead of my hand.”

    Ariel Bryant
  • “That’s cool. It’s like a cell phone, but smaller, wearable, and it needs another cell phone to work.”

    Dirk Redd
    Snake Catcher
  • “Great, a new place for phantom vibrations on my body.”

    David Rosenthal