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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
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Sanford Vows To Complete Term

South Carolina governor Mark Sanford, who disappeared for several days in June to visit his Argentine lover, has stated that he will not resign despite outside pressure to do so. What do you think?
  • "Oh, I see what's going on here, his mistress is only into him because he's a governor."

    Rebecca Spahr Systems Analyst
  • "As someone who always yields to outside pressure, might I say: Governor Sanford, yield to outside pressure."

    Arthur Shea Load Dispatcher
  • "That hot Argentine woman is the one who should resign from whatever it is she did when she wasn't being so sexy! God, she was...so sexy. What were we talking about?"

    Mason Pfau Lumber Estimator

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