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Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
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Sanford Vows To Complete Term

South Carolina governor Mark Sanford, who disappeared for several days in June to visit his Argentine lover, has stated that he will not resign despite outside pressure to do so. What do you think?
  • "Oh, I see what's going on here, his mistress is only into him because he's a governor."

    Rebecca Spahr Systems Analyst
  • "As someone who always yields to outside pressure, might I say: Governor Sanford, yield to outside pressure."

    Arthur Shea Load Dispatcher
  • "That hot Argentine woman is the one who should resign from whatever it is she did when she wasn't being so sexy! God, she was...so sexy. What were we talking about?"

    Mason Pfau Lumber Estimator

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