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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Santorum Bows Out

In the face of a family health crisis and growing resistance from Republican Party leaders, Rick Santorum suspended his presidential campaign. What do you think?

  • "But who’s going to keep my socially destructive feminine impulses in check by making decisions about my body?"

    Kathryn Ryan Car Cooper
  • "That's a shame. I liked his position on human suffering."

    Rich Porter Systems Analyst
  • "If Santorum's looking for work, I have use for a guy who can disparage half the population in a single sentence."

    Mike Saito Hand Roller
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