Savings Lowest Since The Depression

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

Savings Lowest Since The Depression

Personal savings in the United States is the lowest it's been since the Depression. What do you think?
  • Who's the greatest generation now, suckers?

    Bart Gander
    Office Supplies Salesman
  • I watched my Dad die from saving and decided that wasn't going to be me.

    Jenny Rautenberg
    Real Estate Broker
  • Personal savings be damned. My shopping habits are the only reason we haven't been attacked again by the terrorists.

    Frank Martin
    Systems Analyst