adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
End Of Section
  • More News

SC Voters Forgive Sanford For ‘Appalachian Trail’ Affair

Four years after famously lying to his staff and constituents that he was hiking the Appalachian Trail, when in actuality he was visiting his secret Argentine lover, former South Carolina governor Mark Sanford won a special congressional election yesterday. What do you think?

  • “It’s a sad day for our country when elections are no longer decided by how many affairs each candidate has had.”

    Steph Brackhagen Toe And Heel Laster
  • “Well, if we can count on South Carolina voters for one thing, it’s making the right decision.”

    Jean-Pierre Fontaine Systems Analyst
  • “Did he ever get a chance to check out that trail? I hear it’s beautiful.”

    Kenneth Roger Tow Truck Driver

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close