adBlockCheck

Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Schiavo's Right To Die

Last week, a judge gave Florida resident Michael Schiavo permission to remove the feeding tube of his brain-damaged wife Terri. What do you think?
  • "I understand what her husband is going through. My family is currently petitioning the state for permission to remove my fat uncle's feeding spoon."

    Vincent Velez Physical Therapist
  • "If we allow one brain-dead Floridian to die, what's to stop us from extending that policy to include the rest of the state?"

    Lance Morse Systems Analyst
  • "With proper treatment, Terri Schiavo could have gone on to live a long and... long life."

    Margo Strand Hostess
  • "I've set up a living will so that, in the event I fall into a persistent vegetative state, I should be blown to death."

    Cody McIntyre Student
  • "If God wanted people to die with dignity, He wouldn't have created modern medical technology capable of artificially prolonging life."

    Ted Hebert Toxicologist
  • "And what about the feeding tube? Is no one considering its feelings?"

    Maria Avery Baker

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close