adBlockCheck

Politics

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
End Of Section
  • More News

Schiavo's Right To Die

Last week, a judge gave Florida resident Michael Schiavo permission to remove the feeding tube of his brain-damaged wife Terri. What do you think?
  • "I understand what her husband is going through. My family is currently petitioning the state for permission to remove my fat uncle's feeding spoon."

    Vincent Velez Physical Therapist
  • "If we allow one brain-dead Floridian to die, what's to stop us from extending that policy to include the rest of the state?"

    Lance Morse Systems Analyst
  • "With proper treatment, Terri Schiavo could have gone on to live a long and... long life."

    Margo Strand Hostess
  • "I've set up a living will so that, in the event I fall into a persistent vegetative state, I should be blown to death."

    Cody McIntyre Student
  • "If God wanted people to die with dignity, He wouldn't have created modern medical technology capable of artificially prolonging life."

    Ted Hebert Toxicologist
  • "And what about the feeding tube? Is no one considering its feelings?"

    Maria Avery Baker

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close