Scholars: ‘Gospel Of Jesus’ Wife’ Authentic

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DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Scholars: ‘Gospel Of Jesus’ Wife’ Authentic

Two years after the discovery of a papyrus that includes the phrase “Jesus said to them, ‘my wife,’” researchers have announced that the fragment is not a forgery and was likely written in the Middle Ages, though it does not necessarily prove Jesus had a wife. What do you think?

  • “Well, that pretty much answers every last question I had about the Bible. What a relief.”

    Gerald Posner
    Systems Analyst
  • “I reckon it’s just another ultra-liberal interpretation of the Bible that the Middle Ages were known for.”

    Mara Jaffrey
    Costume Designer
  • “I’m not surprised he rarely mentioned his wife. I hardly ever bring up Carol when I’m on the road.”

    Nathan Meechum
    Lawn Games Salesman