adBlockCheck

Recent News

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
End Of Section
  • More News

Scholars: ‘Gospel Of Jesus’ Wife’ Authentic

Two years after the discovery of a papyrus that includes the phrase “Jesus said to them, ‘my wife,’” researchers have announced that the fragment is not a forgery and was likely written in the Middle Ages, though it does not necessarily prove Jesus had a wife. What do you think?

  • “Well, that pretty much answers every last question I had about the Bible. What a relief.”

    Gerald Posner Systems Analyst
  • “I reckon it’s just another ultra-liberal interpretation of the Bible that the Middle Ages were known for.”

    Mara Jaffrey Costume Designer
  • “I’m not surprised he rarely mentioned his wife. I hardly ever bring up Carol when I’m on the road.”

    Nathan Meechum Lawn Games Salesman
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings