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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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School Application Blasted For Inappropriate Question

An application for the Dry Creek School District in California has come under fire for asking if the child to be enrolled was delivered vaginally or via cesarean section. What do you think?

  • "That's good. I'm getting tired of having to provide that information in the ‘Other Comments’ section."

    Kelly Cartwright Machine Wedger
  • “I'm sorry, but I think they have a right to know if a prospective student is one of those weird vagy kids.”

    Dean Yarber Systems Analyst
  • "Sounds like a pretty good way to find out what their moms are currently workin' with."

    Paul Thomas Call-Out Operator

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