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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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School Monitors Student Blogs

A school district in Illinois is going to monitor students’ blogs and MySpace profiles for "illegal and inappropriate behavior." What do you think?
  • "Yay! Now they definitely won't have enough time to monitor the boiler-room and under the gymnasium bleachers."

    Todd Grubman Intern
  • "Oh, so if I cruise MySpace looking for information on children, I'm a pervert, but if a school district does it, they're being responsible."

    Lisa Hruska Housewife
  • "Finally we can move on to the next item on the district's agenda: The spectacular lack of learning going on in the classroom."

    Holden Rasche Customs Officer
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