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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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School Shootings

On May 21, Springfield, OR, 15-year-old Kip Kinkel opened fire in his high-school, killing two students and wounding 22 others. What do you think about the recent rash of school shootings?
  • "I have no idea what would drive a young person like Kip Kinkel to hate and kill. Unless, of course, it's his fruity-ass name."

    Benjamin Reed Optometrist
  • "Something must be done: Our white kids are dying."

    Stephanie Piersall Systems Analyst
  • "What 15-year-old doesn't dream of taking out his whole class? And who are we to tell a child not to pursue his dreams?"

    Darrell Oliver Cartographer
  • "It's obvious that what America needs today is Jim Belushi as The Principal."

    Greg Goff Waiter
  • "These kids should settle their differences with a heart-to-heart teen rap session."

    Kendra Schmidt Guidance Counselor
  • "Kids shooting kids with rifles? What has this world come to? A snub-nose .45 offers much better stopping power."

    Stephen Loring Graphic Designer

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