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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Schwarzenegger Says State Bouncing Back

Declaring that his state is showing "signs of a comeback," California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said that the worst of the recession is over. What to you think?
  • "I had faith that California's economy would be restored to 'precarious.'"

    Robert Upshaw Circular-Resaw Operator
  • "That's what I thought I heard him say too, but if you read the subtitles, he was actually just talking about wildfire preparedness."

    Marsha Bleichert Image Assembler
  • "I know! I've noticed Tom Cruise is getting his shirts pressed again."

    Lane Blanchard Marine Recruiter

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Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

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