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Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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Schwarzenegger Victorious

After the recall of Gov. Gray Davis, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor of California. What do you think?
  • "I voted for Arnold because I agreed with his economic plan. And because I was afraid he might punch me in the face if I didn't."

    Daniel Powell Sound Engineer
  • "At last, a political family that combines the remnants of the Camelot dynasty with the origins of the Predator franchise."

    Molly Prather Executive Secretary
  • "It certainly is an interesting career path, to go from bodybuilder to movie star to politician to man in way over his head."

    Will Becton Anesthesiologist
  • "I'm from Minnesota, and I demand some credit. We elected a ridiculous joke of a governor years ago."

    Brandon Calhoun Systems Analyst
  • "Who would have thought that a bad Austrian artist who's obsessed with the human physical ideal could assemble such a rabid political following?"

    Sarah Jacobs Lyricist
  • "Don't blame me—I voted for the porn star."

    Kevin Napier Radio Operator

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

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