Science Disproves Vampires

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Vol 42 Issue 43

Door Open for NJ Gay Marriage

The New Jersey Supreme Court ruled that gay couples were entitled to the same rights as heterosexuals, leaving the door open for gay marriage. What...

‘Stay The Course’ No More

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Science Disproves Vampires

Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou has devised a simple mathematical proof stating that vampires cannot exist. What do you think?
  • “So I've been sleeping all day in a coffin, hanging upside down in a cave lair, and drinking human blood for nothing?”

    Michael Poole
    Bog Limnologist
  • “I wish I had tenure. If I spent all my time in the warehouse thinking up crap like that, I'd get canned in a heartbeat.”

    Bobbi Delaney
    Fabricator
  • “This news will likely hit The Count the hardest. Destroyed by the very numbers he loves.”

    Gavin Jacobson
    Machinist
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