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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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Scientist Claims Aliens Hijacked Probe

A German scientist told the newspaper Bild that the reason transmissions from deep space probe Voyager 2 changed last month is because the craft has been taken over by aliens. What do you think?

  • "The aliens reprogrammed the probe? They sound like giant nerds."

    Jake Bannon Billing-Control Clerk
  • "That guy's an idiot. Everyone knows that aliens' hands are much too slimy and slippery to take over the controls of a spacecraft."

    Olivia Kimball Dance Instructor
  • "That’s all I need to hear! I don’t think you can really argue with the first nutso theory a German guy tosses out there."

    Ethan Strickland Gang Boss

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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