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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Scientist: Human Race Becoming Dumber

Citing mutations in genes that determine intelligence, as well as the fact that modern-day humans don’t have to rely as much on intellect in order to survive and reproduce, a study by Stanford geneticist Gerald Crabtree suggests people are growing dumber. What do you think?

  • “I’m going to go right on telling my son that he’s stupid, then.”

    Japheth Sheridan Church Janitor
  • “It’s true. Computers and stuff are great, but when was the last time someone came up with a really great idea, like using a stick to hit things with?”

    Madeline Filipowski Typesetter
  • “Huh?”

    Leon Tauscher Putty Glazer

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Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

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