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Scientist Names Ancient Lizard After Obama

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

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SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

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Scientist Names Ancient Lizard After Obama

In honor of President Barack Obama, a Yale University scientist has bestowed the name Obamadon gracilis on a species of ancient lizard that was less than a foot in length and went extinct around the same time as the dinosaurs. What do you think?

  • “To think it was only a couple months ago that we were all wondering, ‘Who will win this election so that we can finally name that lizard?’”

    Gabriela Scadato
    Toxicologist
  • “And still not so much as an iguana named after Chuck Schumer. Disgraceful.”

    Sully Jaggars
    Lettuce Trimmer
  • “Yeah, I thought about naming my cat Obama, but he just looked more like a ‘Puff,’ you know?”

    Charlie Panagos
    Lace Weaver

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