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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Scientist Names Ancient Lizard After Obama

In honor of President Barack Obama, a Yale University scientist has bestowed the name Obamadon gracilis on a species of ancient lizard that was less than a foot in length and went extinct around the same time as the dinosaurs. What do you think?

  • “To think it was only a couple months ago that we were all wondering, ‘Who will win this election so that we can finally name that lizard?’”

    Gabriela Scadato Toxicologist
  • “And still not so much as an iguana named after Chuck Schumer. Disgraceful.”

    Sully Jaggars Lettuce Trimmer
  • “Yeah, I thought about naming my cat Obama, but he just looked more like a ‘Puff,’ you know?”

    Charlie Panagos Lace Weaver
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