Scientists Augment Brain With Computer

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Vol 47 Issue 40

Apple User Acting Like His Dad Just Died

BOSTON—Calling the death a “tragic loss” and saying he was “truly devastated by the news,” self-described Apple product loyalist Eric Cavanaugh is treating the passing of the company’s former CEO Steve Jobs as if his fucking dad just died, sources confirmed Thursday.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Scientists Augment Brain With Computer

Scientists at Tel Aviv University have implanted an artificial cerebellum in rats that can restore functioning to those with damaged brains. What do you think?

  • “I have no idea what they're trying to do, but I'm guessing it's not going to end well for the Palestinians.”

    Beth Parsons
    Systems Analyst
  • “It sounds like they stopped trying to solve the whole cancer thing in favor of working on this, which I support because my brain is damaged.”

    Peter Thompson
    High Rigger
  • “Now let someone try to stop me from hitting myself in the head with this log.”

    Wallace Jackson
    Unemployed
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