adBlockCheck

Recent News

Google Unveils New Larry Page–Driven Car

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Touting the project as its most advanced foray yet into the realm of personal transportation, Google unveiled its new Larry Page–driven car at a press event Wednesday.

Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Nation’s Next Mass Protests

WASHINGTON—Stirring the emotions of citizens across the nation with his strong and affecting rhetoric, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision for the country’s next mass protests during his address to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
End Of Section
  • More News

Scientists Augment Brain With Computer

Scientists at Tel Aviv University have implanted an artificial cerebellum in rats that can restore functioning to those with damaged brains. What do you think?

  • “I have no idea what they're trying to do, but I'm guessing it's not going to end well for the Palestinians.”

    Beth Parsons Systems Analyst
  • “It sounds like they stopped trying to solve the whole cancer thing in favor of working on this, which I support because my brain is damaged.”

    Peter Thompson High Rigger
  • “Now let someone try to stop me from hitting myself in the head with this log.”

    Wallace Jackson Unemployed
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Nation’s Next Mass Protests

WASHINGTON—Stirring the emotions of citizens across the nation with his strong and affecting rhetoric, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision for the country’s next mass protests during his address to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close