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Scientists Augment Brain With Computer

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Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

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Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race
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Scientists Augment Brain With Computer

Scientists at Tel Aviv University have implanted an artificial cerebellum in rats that can restore functioning to those with damaged brains. What do you think?

  • “I have no idea what they're trying to do, but I'm guessing it's not going to end well for the Palestinians.”

    Beth Parsons Systems Analyst
  • “It sounds like they stopped trying to solve the whole cancer thing in favor of working on this, which I support because my brain is damaged.”

    Peter Thompson High Rigger
  • “Now let someone try to stop me from hitting myself in the head with this log.”

    Wallace Jackson Unemployed

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