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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Scientists Create Hydrating, ‘Hangover-Free’ Beer

Australian scientists have infused light beer with electrolytes to create a beverage that is three times more effective at hydrating the drinker than regular beer, thereby reducing the likelihood and severity of a hangover the next morning. What do you think?

  • “Sadly, this news comes seven hours too late for me.”

    Gerald Weisinger Theater Projectionist
  • “Good. I’m sick of getting hydrated without the buzz.”

    Toni Molen Orchard Pruner
  • “But the hangover is the best part!”

    Joseph Lucek Sieve Maker

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