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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Scientists Create Lab-Grown Meat

Dutch scientists have started using stem cells to grow muscle tissue in hopes of producing the first-ever synthetic-meat hamburger later this year. What do you think?

  • “How many more times do you have to whack the cow with a sledgehammer before the stem cells come out?”

    Gilbert Avila Filters Assembler
  • “Meat raised in laboratory petri dishes? With never an opportunity to roam a stainless-steel surface, or to experience the light and warmth of the autoclave? That's just cruel.”

    Don Bartek Tower Erector
  • “It’s just unethical for scientists to play God, and frankly a little distasteful for them to play farmer, too.”

    Sandra Graves Compounder
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