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Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Scientists Create Lightest Material

A group of scientists in California has created a new material that is 100 times lighter than Styrofoam. What do you think?

  • "Great. I'm looking forward to weighing it."

    Cynthia Nash Water Tender
  • "Oh, good! I’ve actually been thinking lately about how hard it is to lift Styrofoam."

    Gerry Berrin Systems Analyst
  • "This is fantastic news for the novelty barbell industry."

    Don Lawson Unemployed
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