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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Scientists To DNA Test Bigfoot Evidence

Scientists from Oxford University have reached out to cryptozoologists to collect any purported biological evidence left behind by Sasquatches or yetis to be DNA tested. What do you think?

  • "Sure, you got a cup I could use?"

    Ron Nardiello Cracker Sprayer
  • "Seems a little mean after Bigfoot went to so much trouble to hide from us."

    Tina Daley Cloth Knot Picker
  • "You almost got me! What are they actually working on?"

    Gene Levi Coin-Vault Guard
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