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Scotland May Secede From U.K. In 2014

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Scotland May Secede From U.K. In 2014

Scottish nationalist leaders and British Prime Minister David Cameron have agreed to terms on an independence referendum that will allow the people of Scotland to vote in 2014 on whether to end their 305-year union with England. What do you think?

  • “Watch out, Scotland. We did the same thing, and look how that turned out.”

    Colin Lancaster
    Lace Winder
  • “It’s a shame that their shared history of terrible food and off-putting physical appearances wasn’t enough to keep them together.”

    Carlos Majica
    Bedspring Assembler
  • “But without Scotland, how will the U.K. solve its most serious crimes? Or wrap its eggs in sausage and deep-fry them?”

    Lynn Eichens
    Taxi Driver

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