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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Scotland May Secede From U.K. In 2014

Scottish nationalist leaders and British Prime Minister David Cameron have agreed to terms on an independence referendum that will allow the people of Scotland to vote in 2014 on whether to end their 305-year union with England. What do you think?

  • “Watch out, Scotland. We did the same thing, and look how that turned out.”

    Colin Lancaster Lace Winder
  • “It’s a shame that their shared history of terrible food and off-putting physical appearances wasn’t enough to keep them together.”

    Carlos Majica Bedspring Assembler
  • “But without Scotland, how will the U.K. solve its most serious crimes? Or wrap its eggs in sausage and deep-fry them?”

    Lynn Eichens Taxi Driver

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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