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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Scotland May Secede From U.K. In 2014

Scottish nationalist leaders and British Prime Minister David Cameron have agreed to terms on an independence referendum that will allow the people of Scotland to vote in 2014 on whether to end their 305-year union with England. What do you think?

  • “Watch out, Scotland. We did the same thing, and look how that turned out.”

    Colin Lancaster Lace Winder
  • “It’s a shame that their shared history of terrible food and off-putting physical appearances wasn’t enough to keep them together.”

    Carlos Majica Bedspring Assembler
  • “But without Scotland, how will the U.K. solve its most serious crimes? Or wrap its eggs in sausage and deep-fry them?”

    Lynn Eichens Taxi Driver

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