adBlockCheck

Recent News

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Scottish Town Builds $8,000 Statue Of Stray Cat

The people of St. Andrews, Scotland raised $8,000 to build a bronze statue of a 14-year-old stray cat named McHamish, who has recently gained a cult following resulting in a children’s book and popular Facebook and Twitter pages. What do you think?

  • “Hopefully this will light a fire under my cat’s ass and get her to finally do something with her life.”

    Danielle Bennett Charter School Principal
  • “Where I come from you have to die first and then we talk statues.”

    Robert Harrison Granite Miner
  • “Great, now my cat’s going to want to have a name.”

    Barry Van Der Marck Outdoor Arena Manager

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close