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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Sea Otters Fight Climate Change

Researchers at the University of California, Santa Cruz, found that kelp forests were able to absorb 12 times more carbon dioxide in the presence of sea otters, a result of the aquatic mammals preying on kelp-eating sea urchins. What do you think?

  • “On top of their unflagging efforts to stem nuclear proliferation? Wow!”

    Claudio Muscarella Brass Polisher
  • “Boy, this whole climate change theory just keeps getting sillier.”

    Nash Hurlbut Collection Clerk
  • "You know what else? They hold hands when they sleep. I swear to God. They hold hands while they drift around floating on their backs, sleeping.”

    Claire Page Subtitle Writer

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