Seal Flu Could Infect Humans

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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.


Seal Flu Could Infect Humans

A strain of bird flu known as H3N8 was found to be responsible for the deaths of 162 harbor seals that washed up on New England beaches last fall, leading scientists to fear the virus could spread to other mammals, including humans. What do you think?

  • “I’m no scientist, but when I hear 162 seals are found dead, I immediately think suicide pact.”

    Austin Guttenberg
  • “Can we still use our masks from H3N5 or H3N7?”

    Brian Garber
  • “Aw, jeez, now you tell me. I just picked up a couple of seal steaks at the Price Chopper.”

    Barbara Suarez
    Nameplate Stamper