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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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SeaWorld To Expand Orca Environments

After the marine park’s profits dropped precipitously amid fallout from the documentary Blackfish, which investigated the death of a trainer by a psychologically disturbed orca in captivity, SeaWorld San Diego has announced that it will double the size of the enclosures for killer whales. What do you think?

  • “Good. That should give them room to cram a few more orcas in there.”

    Ron Dotrice Systems Analyst
  • “Maybe they should just let the whales live in the ocean and whistle when it’s showtime.”

    Linda Perlman Vending Machine Filler
  • “But how will these killer whales ever learn to stop hurting innocent people if we keep rewarding them with bigger cages?”

    Ritch Shimerman Statistics Compiler

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