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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

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DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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SeaWorld To Expand Orca Environments

After the marine park’s profits dropped precipitously amid fallout from the documentary Blackfish, which investigated the death of a trainer by a psychologically disturbed orca in captivity, SeaWorld San Diego has announced that it will double the size of the enclosures for killer whales. What do you think?

  • “Good. That should give them room to cram a few more orcas in there.”

    Ron Dotrice Systems Analyst
  • “Maybe they should just let the whales live in the ocean and whistle when it’s showtime.”

    Linda Perlman Vending Machine Filler
  • “But how will these killer whales ever learn to stop hurting innocent people if we keep rewarding them with bigger cages?”

    Ritch Shimerman Statistics Compiler

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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