Second Deadly Monster Truck Accident

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Vol 45 Issue 05

Area Man Already Tired Of Prison

SHERIDAN, OR—"Honestly, what am I supposed to do now?" First-time inmate Martin Hayes asked. "Sit-Ups? Did some already. And I finished the book I brought with me."

Octuplets Doing Well

The second set of octuplets born in the United States is doing well, with all reportedly breathing on their own. What do you think?
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Small Business

Second Deadly Monster Truck Accident

Eight days after a 6-year-old boy was killed at a monster truck rally in Tacoma, WA, a promoter was struck and killed this weekend at a truck show in Wisconsin. What do you think?
  • "You know, I'm not sure if the prospect of a grisly public death will increase or decrease turnout among monster truck fans."

    Matt Feyen
    Cost Accountant
  • "Damn it, not again! If only there were some way to make them smaller."

    Samantha Popma
    Endodontic Sales Specialist
  • "There's no such thing as bad publicity. Unless you kill a kid. Shoot—that's some bad publicity right there."

    Travis Karenot
    Office Andminstrator
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