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34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.

Mom Produces Decorative Gift Bag Out Of Thin Air

LEXINGTON, MA—Conjuring the item into existence along with several sheets of perfectly coordinated tissue paper, local mother Caroline Wolfson, 49, reportedly produced a decorative gift bag out of thin air Tuesday within a mere fraction of a second of her daughter mentioning she needed to wrap a present.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.
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  • More News

Second Deadly Monster Truck Accident

Eight days after a 6-year-old boy was killed at a monster truck rally in Tacoma, WA, a promoter was struck and killed this weekend at a truck show in Wisconsin. What do you think?
  • "You know, I'm not sure if the prospect of a grisly public death will increase or decrease turnout among monster truck fans."

    Matt Feyen Cost Accountant
  • "Damn it, not again! If only there were some way to make them smaller."

    Samantha Popma Endodontic Sales Specialist
  • "There's no such thing as bad publicity. Unless you kill a kid. Shoot—that's some bad publicity right there."

    Travis Karenot Office Andminstrator

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