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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Second Monument Found On Stonehenge Site

Scientists studying the terrain around Stonehenge may have discovered the foundation of a wooden Stonehenge. What do you think?

  • "I was always mystified as to how an ancient people erected the megaliths of Stonehenge, but now I see they had a practice henge."

    Justin Octavius ECG Technician
  • "I'll bet you that if somebody just takes the time to look there's a wooden Statue of Liberty beneath the muck of Upper New York Bay, too."

    Lauren Dillon Projectionist
  • "Can we stop about Stonehenge? We have clocks now."

    Christopher Osborn Facilities Manager
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