adBlockCheck

Recent News

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
End Of Section
  • More News

Second Sinkhole Opens In Tampa

Less than a week after a Tampa, FL man and his bedroom were swallowed by a now 30-foot-wide and 60-foot-deep sinkhole, a new chasm in the earth opened between two buildings just a few miles away, though no one was reported injured. What do you think?

  • “I’m starting to believe Tampa’s not the paradise I once thought it to be.”

    Chris Copeland Military Recruiter
  • “Man, Florida gets all the cool ways to die.”

    Darrin Morley Unemployed
  • “And they say sinkholes never sinkhole the same place twice.”

    Brigitte Freeborn Cable Splicer

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close