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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Second U.S. Mining Disaster

Two separate mining disasters in West Virginia have claimed 12 lives in the past month. What do you think?
  • “My wife hasn’t let me go down in my zinc hobby mine since this all started.”

    Adam Peck Lab Tech
  • "Maybe if we raised the fines from $16 to $22, the mining companies would really step up to the worker's-safety plate?"

    Melanie Bonanno Private Detective
  • “If you have a better alternative fuel source to coal, I’d love to hear it.”

    Joe Kunkel Paralegal

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