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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Secret Searches Ruled Illegal

Last week, a federal judge deemed a Patriot Act provision that allowed the FBI to secretly obtain Internet and telephone records unconstitutional. What do you think?
  • "If John Ashcroft hadn't personally been doing all the searches, I would've felt a little more comfortable about them."

    Jerry Collins Systems Analyst
  • "Thank God that Internet-records part was struck down. If the government ever found out that I bought Bring It On from Amazon, I'd die of embarrassment."

    Jason Green Stockroom Worker
  • "Wait a second. The rest of the Patriot Act is still okay?"

    Alice Morrison Actuary
  • "I'm glad the provision was deemed illegal, because it would've forced my phone provider to lie to me. I just couldn't handle knowing that Verizon had lied to me."

    Albert Cook Mathematician
  • "The Patriot Act never made sense to me. Aren't the Republicans proponents of small government? Hey! Where are you taking me?"

    Carl Perez Title Searcher
  • "That's the way these things happen. First, they overturn one little clause, then they whittle away at the rest. Before you know it, our civil liberties will be totally restored."

    Katherine Kane Interior <br>Designer

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