adBlockCheck

Recent News

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
End Of Section
  • More News

Secret Service Investigating Facebook Poll

Facebook has suspended an application that allows its members to create polls after a user, who is now being investigated by the Secret Service, posed the question "Should Obama be killed?" What do you think?
  • "Come back to Friendster. You can threaten the president there all you want."

    Nikki Frattalli Adjudicator
  • "What's the big deal? I understand there is a parallel piece of legislation on the floor of the Texas Legislature."

    Hal Gruber Systems Analyst
  • "I hope the higher-ups in the Secret Service check my profile. I clicked 'No.'"

    Mike Fitzpatrick Security System Installer
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings