adBlockCheck

Politics

What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

What To Expect From James Comey’s Book

Former FBI director James Comey is writing a book due out next spring about leadership, decision-making, and his time at the FBI. Here’s what to look for when the book is released.

Nation Not Sure How Many Ex-Trump Staffers It Can Safely Reabsorb

WASHINGTON—Noting that the resignation of Anthony Scaramucci as White House communications director marked the ouster of the third top administration official in less than two weeks, a worried populace told reporters Monday that it was unsure how many former Trump staffers it could safely reabsorb.
End Of Section
  • More News

Secret Service Under The Gun

In a move many fear will jeopardize future presidential security, independent counsel Kenneth Starr has subpoenaed Secret Service personnel to testify before the Monica Lewinsky grand jury. What do you think about the Secret Service breaking its code of presidential silence?
  • "We should be worrying about health care and the economy, not whether the president had sex with some Secret Service agents."

    Gilbert Morris Teacher
  • "I feel they definitely should protect the Secret Sauce. If that got out, Lord knows what would happen."

    Eileen Simms Orthopedic Surgeon
  • "I think the Secret Service should be called to testify about the activities of former president Carter. God knows what hideous things go on down there in Plains, GA."

    Richard Bavaro Systems Analyst
  • "Believe me—the Secret Service isn't telling everything they know, man. I've read enough Robert Anton Wilson to know that much."

    Duane Banks Landscaper
  • "People say making them testify will compromise the president's safety, or even national security. But to hell with that: We need to know if President Clinton had naughty sex."

    Vanessa McConkey Caterer
  • "I was talkin' with this one Secret Service guy at a rally for Charles Palantine, and he really understood me. He understood how much we need a real rain to wash all the scum off the streets."

    Randall Taylor Electrician

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close