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Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Secret Service Under The Gun

In a move many fear will jeopardize future presidential security, independent counsel Kenneth Starr has subpoenaed Secret Service personnel to testify before the Monica Lewinsky grand jury. What do you think about the Secret Service breaking its code of presidential silence?
  • "We should be worrying about health care and the economy, not whether the president had sex with some Secret Service agents."

    Gilbert Morris Teacher
  • "I feel they definitely should protect the Secret Sauce. If that got out, Lord knows what would happen."

    Eileen Simms Orthopedic Surgeon
  • "I think the Secret Service should be called to testify about the activities of former president Carter. God knows what hideous things go on down there in Plains, GA."

    Richard Bavaro Systems Analyst
  • "Believe me—the Secret Service isn't telling everything they know, man. I've read enough Robert Anton Wilson to know that much."

    Duane Banks Landscaper
  • "People say making them testify will compromise the president's safety, or even national security. But to hell with that: We need to know if President Clinton had naughty sex."

    Vanessa McConkey Caterer
  • "I was talkin' with this one Secret Service guy at a rally for Charles Palantine, and he really understood me. He understood how much we need a real rain to wash all the scum off the streets."

    Randall Taylor Electrician
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Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:

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