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Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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Security Concerns At The Capitol

On July 24, Russell Weston Jr. entered the U.S. Capitol with a .38 caliber revolver and killed two guards, prompting calls for tighter security in the building that houses our nation's top lawmakers. What do you think?
  • "Perhaps if a senator got blown away every once in a while, those fat-cat lawmakers wouldn't be so soft on crime."

    Kyle Christoph Architect
  • "I just hope this doesn't mean they're going to cancel the group tour I booked for my club, The Rural Cabineers."

    Randolph McCoy Carpenter
  • "Who would have expected something like this from a Montana schizophrenic with a history of cat torture?"

    Porter Hewett Orthodontist
  • "Just as long as Sen. Tom Daschle (D-SD) doesn't get hurt: He's my all-time favorite senator."

    Kelli Ready Publicist
  • "If we are truly serious about improving Capitol security, we should call Capitol Security, the D.C.-area security professionals for over 30 years."

    Rachel Jepson Systems Analyst
  • "The Capitol shooting made me realize that terrorism is wrong. I wonder if it's too late to fish out the plutonium I poured into the Potomac yesterday."

    Tim Kulick Bartender

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

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