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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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Security Experts Warn Against Smart Appliances

Experts at a cybersecurity summit in London warned consumers this week against the proliferation of “smart” home appliances such as refrigerators and toasters, explaining that this unregulated access to one’s personal information could be a target for hackers. What do you think?

  • “Do they really expect me not to buy a toaster that remembers my name?”

    Garrett Buting Threat Processor
  • “I just feel safer limiting the internet to my phone, computer, tablet, TV, three game consoles, and my car.”

    Casey Holdridge Systems Analyst
  • “Hey, I spent thousands of dollars on all these high-tech kitchen appliances, so don’t worry about me. I know what I’m doing.”

    Rich Beyers Profanity Monitor
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