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Politics

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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Senate Approves Jobless Benefits Extension

Following an appointment to fill the seat of the recently deceased Robert Byrd, Senate Democrats have staved off a Republican filibuster and are set to extend unemployment benefits. What do you think?

  • "Honestly, if people are still unemployed, they really should just talk to their friends' dads. Friends' dads always have some sort of job for you."

    J.J. Reininger Sales Planner
  • "Awesome! I've been saving up my unemployment for this kick-ass 1962 Les Paul ever since I got laid off in early ’08."

    Matt Brown Purchasing Specialist
  • "I can think of no more fitting tribute to the late senator than this, a vicious party-line vote."

    Carrie Tong Cash Accountant

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

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