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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Senate Candidate: 'God Intended' Pregnancies From Rape

During a debate last night, Richard Mourdock, a Tea Party–backed Republican Senate candidate from Indiana, said that instances of impregnation due to rape are “something that God intended to happen.” What do you think?

  • “Typical mainstream media, reporting on a Republican’s extremely offensive quote just because the guy said it.”

    Sven Bauer Veterinary Assistant
  • “That’s insulting. Everyone knows that God’s ideal method of impregnation is two consenting adults too drunk to care about using a condom.”

    Juliet Kozak Systems Analyst
  • “Boy, if we Republicans want to win this election, we have got to stop saying what we believe.”

    George Bucossi Sandstone Splitter

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